To all whom I have wronged, or hurt, or disappointed this year, I apologize.

I hope to do better in the future: to heal, to care, to make proud, to help, to listen and to solve. I can do more than I do already, and I hope to do it for you.

Have an easy fast.

I had a headache, so I ate some ice cream and then I felt better.  Correlation?  I'm going to go with definitely.

Clearly I should not be allowed to attend weddings as it just makes me want to get married, like, now.

School started today.  I am overwhelmed.

BUT.  I made a friend.  Me: "Wait, you're 28?!  OH THANK G-D."

"Oh my G-d!  You're selizara from RARB!  That is SO COOL!" 

"As you embrace each moment through unconditional acceptance of its riches, however they appear, life embraces you back, blessing you with feelings of fulfillment, relaxation and peace."

 

Jon Davis of the non-date is married.  SO SAD.  CRYING GREAT BIG TEARS OF REGRET RIGHT NOW.  Or something.

Someone please fix my brain.

Pro Cardozo:
- good school
- great IP program
- large scholarship
- be able to maintain industry contacts
- good local recognition
- won't have to move
- won't have to leave all of my NY friends
- don't need a car/public transportation 24 hours per day
- lots of internship opportunities
- can remain active in the NY chapter of my professional organization

Pro Boston University:
- great school
- great IP program
- national recognition
- close to parents
- already have friends in the area
- housing is ridiculously close to Fenway Park
- may have a better chance of getting the job I want
- higher "at graduation" employment rate
- teaching is rated higher
- New York (and my apartment) will be there in the summers and whenever I want to come back

 I just got an offer of admission off of the waitlist from BU.

NOW WHAT.

Is it bad that I am totally enthralled by the movie "National Treasure" right now?  I mean...this is the worst acting ever, but I love the storyline of secrets hidden within the documents of the founding of the United States.  It's the history geek that's hidden deep deep inside...the one that would really like to go to Philadelphia by myself so I can spend as much time as possible wandering the colonial-era streets.

She's out - they decided she did not need to be admitted.  She got 2 bags of IV fluid and felt a little better, and they did a CT scan to determine that there is no internal bleeding or anything super bad going on.  So the answer is rest, and we'll see what happens.

Thanks all for your thoughts.  It means more than you could know.

Once I made the decision to be bold, it was easy.  It became a given.

First, I emailed someone I saw on a website and asked him out on a date.  Then, this weekend, I told someone at reunion that I thought he was absolutely adorable and that it was sad that he had a girlfriend.  And then I gave my phone number to someone else...and we've already started emailing back and forth in surprisingly verbose messages.  So what if he lives in Boston...and was the only non-Jewish member of AEPi from my year (oh, Jesus Christ, I really know how to do myself in, don't I.)

I guess there really is something to that attitude of being "out there" and "single" and "looking."  People tell you that it is when you stop looking that you find someone.  For now, I am going to disagree...it is when you start looking that you finally start seeing all of the people that were always there around you.

So I waited on hold for American customer service for 45 minutes only to be told that the only way I can get to St. Louis is by flying from here to Boston, from Boston to Chicago, and from Chicago to St. Louis.

I'm sorry, but on a day when there is supposed to be high winds, thunderstorms and hail in the St. Louis area, the LAST thing I am going to do is rely on three different flights to get me to a destination that was supposed to take me just one.

Tomorrow morning I will go to the American ticket counter that is 10 blocks away from my apartment in the hope that they can book me on another airline or on a flight that will get in on Friday.  Otherwise, this weekend is just not going to happen, and I'm going to have to wait for five years for the next one.

As many of you know, I was both wary and excited for this weekend.  However, the disappointment I am feeling right now is huge.  I was looking forward to spending a fun weekend with my friends doing a bunch of stuff that we haven't done in a long time, and I have no idea when this is ever going to happen again.  Most of all, though, is the fact that I have been using events like these (Red Sox game, reunion, vacation with family) as motivation events at work.  Like "hey, if I can just get through the next few days, I get to go to St. Louis!  Hooray!"  I feel like I just lost the game.

Hello, I'm an old person.